Monday, May 7, 2012

Seeing Gray

Me in a funk last week


Some days are not so colorful.

Some days are gray.

If you are like me and love to talk about the fun, funny and colorful things in life, what do you do when you are feeling gray? 

Usually, I just keep it to myself.  I mean, really, who wants to hear the negativity?

But, if I only talk about the positive things in my life, I will certainly give people the wrong idea.  And, part of why I want to blog is to be real...well, as real as I can handle. 

So, what do I do when I am in a funk?

Usually, I keep it to myself and escape.  I go to bed as early as reasonably possible.  I escape into meaningless games on my iPad.  I escape into food.

Last week I was in a major funk.  (I think I gained a good 5+ pounds!)

I didn't want to pray.

I didn't want to read.

I didn't want to talk about it.

I wanted to escape. 

Our family has been going through a transition.  My husband is an associate pastor and has been grappling with the idea of leaving his current position for several months now.  He resigned a few weeks ago.  His heart has slowly been drawn away from our current (and WONDERFUL) church, to...well, to...

We aren't sure where to just yet.

But, I like certainty.  I like stability.  I like being settled.  I like security.

Sigh.

Change is hard and for today, my life is enough.  I don't want to wish away the days of uncertainty because I believe that if I choose to embrace these days and rest into them, I may grow.

I may grow and the next time I'm in a funk, I may escape less.  I may let myself feel the discomfort and not be so afraid of it next time.

Today I woke up feeling more positive.  I went to the gym.  I was feeling very cheerful as I sang "Rainy Days and Mondays" while taking a bath.   I'm looking forward to working on the dolls today.  Yes, I think the clouds are clearing.

And, in the interest of being real (and making this post a tad bit less depressing) I took pictures of my kids' shoes lying around the house for you.  If you look closely, you will see more mess than just scattered shoes.  I love how the red converse are so very neat under the kitchen bar!  



8 comments:

  1. Even on grey days your light is shines from within. I love you and am thankful we have each other through this all.

    I love the pics too!

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    1. Thanks, Lovey. You're the best. So...you are the one who neatly placed the red Converse? ;)

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  2. I have gray days too! I had a pretty gray day last week when I was just missing everyone really bad... As a people person, I tend to throw myself into as many social situations as possible when I am feeling gray... People help to pull me out of my funk...

    Praying for you, uncle Doug, and the kiddos during this time of transition. Glad the color is coming back into your life :) love you!!!

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    1. We miss you guys, too, Char. I love that you are such a people person. I love that you know exactly who you are! Very inspiring. Love you!!!

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  3. Grey is a color!! And if you love color you must embrace grey when it comes around too. I think having those days reminds us to love the pretty colors even more when we get out of the funk. Change sucks. But change can also bring awesome things. Without change you wouldnt have MMMEEE!! Who doesnt love that??!!!! (no eye rolling Doug)

    I usually sleep away my grey days and keep to myself. Most people wouldnt know I was going through a grey time. I am good at hiding it. Good for you for getting yourself out of the funk and blogging about it. You are always my inspiration!!

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    1. Thanks, B! I never know when you are having a rough time. It's hard to find balance between being real and being a downer. lol.

      :)

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  4. You and Doug are wonderful people. It will be exciting to see what God has in store. Thank you for sharing your heart. I related to you in so many ways and will pray for you all too. Lord bless you! :o)
    -Tina

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